danny12
|
Yo' Momma JokesWhy did the hotdog put on a sweater?
COS ITS A CHILLI DOG LOL GET IT CHILLI?
*Everyone stares*
What?
|
Site Administrator
|
Re: A Joke | danny12 wrote: | Why did the hotdog put on a sweater?
COS ITS A CHILLI DOG LOL GET IT CHILLI?
*Everyone stares&*
What? |
lol, good one 
|
danny12
|
Cheers 
You got any jokes?
|
Site Administrator
|
| danny12 wrote: | Cheers
You got any jokes? |
nope but ill go find some.
|
Decius Brutus
|
Hmmm i got some, they r ur momma jokes, but dont be offended, this is just 4 fun.
-yo mama so fat when she steps outside in hi-heels she strikes oil.
-yo mama so fat when she jumps rope in the street, she leaves pot-holes
-yo mama so fat when she bungee jumps she took the whole bridge with her
-your mama so fat, her belt size reads 'equator'
-your mama so fat when she sits around the house, she literally sits AROUND the house
-yo mama so fat when she walks on the beach the whales start singin "we are family....I got all ma brothers and sisters wit me"
-yo mama so fat, her drivers liscence picture says "picture continued on other side"
-yo mama so fat, her prom picture had to ba an arial shot
-yo mama so fat, when she jumped, people looked up, and thought it was an eclipse
|
danny12
|
Your mamma so fat when she steps on a penny a boogie pops out 
|
Decius Brutus
|
Hmmmmm i dont got any more yourmom jokes. Hmmmmmm someone tell some more.
|
Site Administrator
|
Heres a few,
Yo Mama So Ugly
she put the Boogie man outta business.
she make Michael Jackson look like Brad Pitt
when she wobbles down the street in September, folk say, "Damn it, can't believe it's Halloween already..."
when she applied for the ugly contest they told her 'NO Professionals'
she looked out her window and was arrested for indecent exposure!
minutes after she was born her Mother shouted 'What a treasure!" and her Poppa said "Yes, now let's go and bury her..."
they push her face into the dough mixture when making Monster cookies.
when they took her to the Beautician it took 10 hours....and that was just for the quote!
yer Daddy takes her to work each day so he doesny have to kiss her goodbye...
she put Marilyn Manson out of business.
she was a guard at Snake Mountain
they knew what time she was born cuz her face stopped the clock...
even Harry Knowles refused to date her.
they embalmed her face on a box of super-strength laxatives and sold it empty!
she gets 364 extra days just to dress up for Halloween.
Tony Blair moved Halloween to her birthday.
you papa throws the ugly stick and she goes fetches it every time.
she scared the stitching outta Frankenstein.
we had to tie a steak round her neck so the dogs would play with her.
I heard yer Father first met her at the Zoo.
her shadow gave up.
people at the Zoo pay cash so they DON't have to see her...
her mom had to be Pissed drunk just to breast feed her.
when born, the doctors had to fit her incubator with tinted windows.
hotel managers use her picture to keep away the Rats.
instead of round the ankles, they put the Bungee Jumping cord round her neck.
they gave her a middle name...'accident'.
she fell out of the Ugly Tree, hitting every branch on the way down.
when she walked into the Haunted House, she came back out with a Job Application!
even Slicky Willy Clinton refused to sleep with her...
when she was born the Doc smacked her face.
You Momma so Ugly that she's got her very own Crazy Pranks & Hilarious Gags named after her...
|
Decius Brutus
|
she looked out her window and was arrested for indecent exposure!
LMFAO that frikkin hilarious bro.
|
Site Administrator
|
Heres some more...
Yo Moma So Poor
that your family ate Cornflakes with a fork to save milk.
they put her photo on food stamps.
when I visited her trailer, 2 cockroaches tripped me and a Rat tried to steal me wallet.
she waves an ice lolly around and calls it Air conditioning.
burglars break into her home and leave money.
when I told her about the last supper she thought the food stamps had run out.
the building society repossed her cardboard box.
she watches television on an Etch-A-Sketch.
each night she goes to KFC to lick other folk's fingers
she can't even afford to go to the free clinic.
when I saw her kickin a can down the road I asked her what she was doing....'Moving' she replied.
I caught her trying to use food stamps in the Gobstopper machine.
when I rang her doorbell, SHE said 'Ding-Dong'
I asked her where the 'facilities were' and she replied - "Pick a corner...ANY corner..."
I visited her house, tore down the cob webs and she screamed - "Who's tearing down the drapes!!!!"
I walked into her home, asked if I could use her toilet, and she said "Sure thing, it's 4th tree on your right..."
only time she smelled Hot Food was when a rich bloke farted...
when I saw her wobbling down the street with 1 shoe, I hollered - "Lost a shoe?", and she said - "Nope...just found one..."
she hangs the Toilet paper out to dry.
closest thing to a car she owns is a low-riding Shopping trolley....with a box on it...
she had to take out a second mortgage on her cardboard box.
I went into her 'living room', stepped on a Fag butt and she shouted - "Oi, who turned off the heater!"
I once threw a stone at a garbage can, and out she popped saying - "Who knocked???"
I went through her front door and tripped over the back fence.
she does drive by shootings on the school bus.
when she asked me over to dinner I took a paper plate from the kitchen and she groule - "Don't use the good china"
You Momma so Poor it took her 10 years to pay for a 5 dollar Crazy Prank & Hilarious Gag set...
And some more...
Your Mama So Fat
when she step on the Weight Scales it says...'to be continued'...
she once went on a seafood diet...whenever she saw food she ate it!
folk exercise by jogging around her!
when she bends over, we enter Daylight Saving Time.
she sat on a Nintendo Gamecube and it turned into a gameboy
she make Kiko the Whale look like a Smartie
NASA plan to use her to shore up the hole in the Ozone layer
she was measured at 38-26-36 and that was just the left arm...
small objects orbit her.
she make olympic sumo wrestlers look anerixic.
when I tell her to haul ass, she gotta make two trips.
when she farted she launched herself into orbit.
she lost a game at Hide&Seek only cos I spotted her...behind Mount Everest.
when I had to swerve to avoid hitting her on the road I ran out of Petrol!
she could be the eighth continent.
she nearly put Safeway out of business
the only thing that's attracted to her is gravity.
her Uni graduation photo was an aerial
when she auditioned for a part in Raiders of the Lost Ark she got the part of the big Rolling Ball.
she make Jabba the Hutt look anorexic.
her fave food is seconds.
her belt size is Equator.
she eats Desert out of a Trash Can lid
she wears an 'X' jacket and Copters attempt to land on her
she shows up on radar.
she needs a map to find her butt.
she fell into the Grand Canyon....and got stuck!
she wears an asteroid belt.
her Passport photo says 'Picture is continued overleaf'
she has TB ... 2 bellys.
she's once, twice, three times a lady.
she was in the Daily Record last week on page 5, 6, 7, 8, and 9.
the circus use her as a trampoline
stunt agencies use her as an air mattress
when she opens the Fridge it says - 'I give up...'
she got a new gig at the Cinema...she works as the screen
she once told me 'I could eat a horse'...believe me, she wasn't kidding!
she deep fries her toothpaste.
Anything Yo's - So Fat...
Yo Grannie so damn fat, that if she was an Aeroplane, she'd be a Jumbo Jet.
Yo Grandpa so fat that he's half Scottish, half Irish and half American
Yo Wife so fat she fell off a boat and the Captain yelled, "Land Ahoy!!!"
Yo Priest so fat, when he bungee jumped he went straight to hell...
Yo Doctor so fat, that when her Beeper goes off folk think she's backing up.
Yo Auntie so fat when she goes to Gap the only thing she can fit into is the Dressing Room
Yo Bookie so fat he gotta buy clothes by the furlon
Yo Dentist so fat that when he burped he blew out all yo mamma's teeth...that why she so ugly!
Yo Papa's so large when you climb on top of him your ears pop.
Yo Father so fat that when he sat on a Rainbow skittles fell out.
Yo Sister so fat that even Richard Simmons can't help laughing
Yo Sis so Monstrous she uses Soccer balls for earrings.
Yo Father so fat he can't even tie his own shoelaces
Yo Mama so huge that God created her...and on the seventh day rested.
Your Kid Sister so fat the Japanese Sumo Wrestling squad had to turn her down.
Yo Star Trek fan so fat he make Riker's beer belly look 2 atoms thick
Yo Lawyer's so fat...we're inside her right now.
Yo' Baker so freakin fat he masturbates when reading cookbooks
Yo Auntie so fat that Weight Watchers threw her out for breaking the scales.
Yo Boss so fat that when she calls a board meeting she has to pull herself up a Sofa.
Yo Air hostess so fat that on a scale of 1 to 10 she a 747.
Your boyfriend so fat he hasn't seen his feet for 10 years
Yo Bro so fat that when he farted, Mars came out...and I ain't talkin bout the 'sweetie'
You Nana so fat that when she went for a swim in the ocean she caused a 60 foot tidal wave.
Yo Music teacher so freakin Fat that she whistles Bass
Yo Postman so fat he got his very own Post Code
You cousin so fat she's on Both sides of the family.
Yo Girlfriend so fat I ask her to go get a Curry and she bring back 80 pounds of gravy.
Yo kid brother so fat he sat on 4 quarters and made a dollar.
Your Mom so fat she uses a bed mattress for a maxipad
Yo wife so fat she got more nooks and Crannies than a Ploughman's pastry
Yo Sister so fat she got a new job DJ'ing for the Ice Cream Van.
Yo Momma so fat all chairs in the house have their own seatbelts.
Yo Dog so fat that when you take it 'walkies' it don't know whether it walking or rolling
Your Mommas so fat, when it says All you can eat it still ain't enough.
Yo' Astronomer so fat she plays pool with Venus....and Neptune...and pluto...and...
|
|
|
|